Whenever I teach, I love to break down topics into their basic elements in order to create a platform of knowledge on which to build a deeper understanding of any subject I’m addressing. I’ll do this today as we take a dive into the meaning, importance and impact of Self-Leadership, so shall start by taking a look at the concept of “Self”, as I’m sure everyone has a pretty good idea of how to interpret “Leadership” in all its glorious configurations!!
Self is described as “a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action”.
As a younger person, I really didn’t give much thought to the word “self”, but as I move through my life, I find that I’ve become more interested in what makes me, me and others, who they are – particularly since I began my own journey into Personal Development some 20 years ago and then began teaching Self-Leadership. We are, of course each shaped by our own individual upbringings, conditioning, education, religious beliefs (existent or not), life experiences, states of health and so on, all of which create our own unique personal identities – Ourselves.
It’s fascinating to observe that this “self” constantly changes and evolves dependent on our individual life’s experiences - think for a moment of beliefs you had when you were younger which no longer exist; fashions you enjoyed which you would never think of following now, places and people you loved that are no longer important to you to get a sense of how you are changing as you go through your life. Once we become aware of this and really embody the empowering knowledge that we are each in charge of choosing how we respond to these changes by choosing how we process our own thoughts and actions in every moment, then we can start to lead ourselves in effective and powerful ways.
Self Awareness
“Being a good leader of self – and of others, you must first start with self-awareness... knowing and aligning with your own values, strengths, challenges (Oh yes, those too) and with your own individual purpose. This doesn’t happen without investing time and effort into understanding what these are up to you, but once you do understand them, ie. you become more emotionally intelligent, then you will begin to feel an inherent sense of self and centeredness and can more easily optimize your own leadership skills.“
With this understanding and acceptance of who you are – warts and all, you’re much more likely to be able to get the best out of your team too, by being able to focus on what’s important to them, in a non-judgemental way. Having an awareness of self is the first step, but this HAS to be coupled with acceptance – both of self and of others. There are ALWAYS going to be some things that others in the team do better, more easily, more creatively than you do and rather than seeing this as a threat, embrace the skills and support the challenges of both yourself and others to create a cohesive, high-functioning, fully-engaged team, where people are allowed to shine, without recrimination or making anyone feel threatened.
Cultivating self-awareness involves a constant evaluation of our goals and beliefs, since these, as I said earlier will change over time. Have conversations with trusted colleagues, friends or mentors to deepen this self-awareness. Stay authentic and don’t be afraid to be vulnerable at times – this is a show of strength, not weakness and will inspire others to know that they can truly trust you.
“I’ve learned that self-awareness - and how we perceive ourselves affects not only everything we do – the way we process our thoughts, form our interactions with others, drive our overall behaviour and ultimately create our states of being, but it also has a direct effect on how other people view and therefore treat us. “
Self-Belief
Self-belief, in other words is an essential element in leadership of both self and of others.
In order to thrive, it’s essential that we nurture a positive mindset and an unwavering belief in our own potential and abilities. We must become aware of any negative self-talk and self-doubt (we all experience them at some point, irrespective of how evolved we think we are!) and make a conscious effort not to give into them, but instead embrace all those wonderful qualities we’ve uncovered in our self-awareness journey and make sure that we surround ourselves with people who believe in and support us. A strong belief in ourselves and our abilities will help us to more easily face challenges, embrace opportunities that come our way and cultivate confidence when dealing with challenging situations.
Self-Discipline
I love this quote from Youtuber, Lewis Howes...“Self-discipline is the strongest form of self-love! It’s loving yourself enough to give yourself everything you’ve ever wanted! It’s ignoring current pleasure for bigger rewards to come”.
Is it easy? Hell no!! However, the stronger the drive, the easier it will be – and of course, like every habit we want to form, the more we consistently make the tasks we need to do towards achieving our goals part of a regular routine, the more achievable our goals will become.
In working towards any goal, we’ll always encounter obstacles and distractions along the way, but by taking even the smallest steps on a consistent – perhaps even daily basis, we’ll give ourselves a really good chance of achieving those goals.
Some tips to cultivate self-discipline are
- Set clear goals/intentions.
- Learn to prioritize and manage your time.
- Create regular (daily) routines.
- Build a strong mindset.
- Focus on your mental wellbeing and practice self-care.
- Avoid temptations and distractions.
- Focus on persistence and consistency
Self Mastery
“Self-mastery is the ability to control yourself in all situations as you move forward consciously and steadily towards your goals. Once you know your purpose and have cultivated the self-discipline needed to do things in a deliberate, focused, and honorable way, you will be a long way towards becoming the master of yourself.”
But, without first cultivating self-awareness, self-belief and self-discipline, we can’t hope to reach a stage of self-mastery, because we need to be able to identify the source of any resistance we’re feeling in any given situation and find the resourcefulness to move beyond it.
This, I believe, remains an ongoing, continually evolving process which requires practice, and self-reflection. As you evolve, so will your sense of self. It’s all about becoming the best version of yourself and consistently striving for ongoing personal growth, regardless of the external circumstances you may experience along the way.
Self-Mastery empowers you to make informed decisions, navigate challenges, and lead with clarity and authenticity.
It is always going to be a unique experience based on leveraging your individual abilities to reach your own full potential. It will vary significantly from person to person, but ultimately it enables each of us to lead more fulfilling and meaningful lives.
You can see that Self-Leadership is truly a lifelong commitment to personal growth. Successfully leading others begins with successfully leading yourself. It may seem counter-intuitive, but it’s proven to be true, that if we all spent more time focussing on ourselves and less time focusing on all the external factors that are complicating our lives, we’d see better results in our self-leadership skills – and until we’ve mastered those, we can’t begin to think about leading others.
Take it one step at a time. Begin with getting to know YOU – understand and accept yourself for everything you are and are becoming! This will go a long way in helping you to understand and accept others – both in a professional and personal capacity – and that lack of conflict and need to control how anyone else thinks and behaves will make your life SO much easier. With this essential foundation in place, you will also be working on your Self-Belief and Self-Discipline and gradually moving towards Self-Mastery. It’s a fascinating, ever-evolving life-long journey. Remember to enjoy the ride.
About Lynne Edwards
A skilled and impactful Superyacht crew trainer, Lynne brings over 40 years of hospitality experience to the superyacht industry. She has been an integral part of the creation, continual development, promotion and teaching of industry-recognised interior crew training programmes and has dedicated the last two decades of her life to the education and empowerment of many hundreds of Superyacht interior crew members.
Lynne has an abiding passion for Personal Development and part of her aim is to encourage recognition for the challenging and demanding work professional interior crew undertake. However, she also loves bringing a deeper understanding, acceptance and appreciation to ALL individuals and teams in the luxury hospitality industry by discovering and optimising each person’s inherent talents to create cohesive, high functioning teams in all departments.
In an industry whose foremost asset is people, she strongly believes in the importance of this work to increase employee engagement and encourage the enjoyment of and longevity in the industry, knowing that this will automatically translate to a better owner and guest experience.
Lynne is currently the Insight and Technical Training Specialist at Luxury Hospitality Management as well as the founder of A Listening Ear, a wellness consulting service, which offers personalized mentoring, realignment and resilience workshops for superyacht crew. It specializes in helping crew to achieve balance and longevity in their high-pressure environment.
To learn more, please visit here
“Who you are tomorrow begins with what you do today!”
